Post by Xyla on Jan 3, 2008 23:02:45 GMT -5
"Hey, you guys, look! There's something over there!" Selina called.
"It's a squirrel! What happened to it?"
"It's injured! I'll heal it back to health... hey, why don't we take it with us? "
Over by the lonely campfire, Xyla snorted as she poked at her suspicious looking stew. "Pssshhhh. Doesn't that new girl piss you off? She thinks she's all that, just cause she's got all that boobs! Well, my obnoxiously freaky eyes were here before her boobs!"
Sora gave her a look. "However insignificant I think your squinty eyes are, you're right about one thing. How dare she just waltz in here and steal our spotlight! We're the pwnsome likeable heroines!"
"Down with her boobs!"
"......doesn't that make them bigger? Er, anyway! I've got a plan..."
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"Ouch! Something bit me on the ankle, brother!"
"What! Quite, will ya? I'm observing this ridiculous bunch of clowns!"
Meet Paul and Phillipe, your average model citizens. At this juncture of maturation, they are spying upon our merry group of travellers, concocting brilliant plans to relieve the group of their gold, food, and shampoo. Quality hair wash is hard to come by in the wild.
"Gah! This itches something fierce! I can't stop scratching it!"
"......doesn't that make it worst? Er, anyway! I've got a plan..."
"Brother, I just noticed we're sitting on an anthill."
"....shut up, Phillipe."
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"Look, Selina's busy with that squirrel! Hurry, do it!" Sora urged.
With haste, Xyla rushed over to Selina's untouched bowl of food. "That should do the trick!"
"Done? Right, the next step...."
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"Look!" Paul pointed as the tricky duo snuck into the campsite. "There's an unsuspicious bowl of food, left there conveniently! Imma dig in!"
"Brother, I don't think that's such a hot ide-"
Paul took a gulp of the stew, and his face promptly turned red.
"AHHHHHHHH THROAT.. BURNING..."
Phillipe grabbed a nearby bowl of water. "Here!!"
Paul gulped it down with relish. "Ah, that was among one of the most refreshing water I've ever drank.. ever... .... hey.... why's that creature growling at us?"
"Brother, I just noticed the bowl you drank from has the word Royal engraved on it."
"....shut up, Phillipe."
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"Hay... Sora, did you hear some screaming and barking just now?" Xyla asked, looking up from her task at hand.
"Dunno, I thought I heard something strange... well, we'd better get out of Selina's tent in case the others hear the racket and catch us in the act..."
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"THAT DARN ANIMAL!" Paul growled. I won't be able to sit for a month! And it's still making a commotion! Hurry, let's hide in here..."
The sly pair entered a nearby tent, where they instantly spotted a ornate giftbox on the table. Curiosity sat on and crushed common sense, and the brothers examined the box.
" 'To Selena, From Shinji' Huh. Interesting."
"It's... a toga, brother."
".........."
"Let's steal it, brother!"
"No, no, not like that! Watch and learn, lil bro, as a professional like I-self steal this ornate toga. If you steal the whole box, someone's bound to notice something was wrong instantly, see? That's why you steal the toga inside it! And just in case someone sees you carrying a toga and goes, 'Now there's someone downright suspicious', well, you wear the toga yourself! That way, if you get caught, you're just a traveler who got lost is all! ....hey, it itches something fierce.."
"Brother, I just noticed you must have put on a toga full of poison powder."
"....just... just shut up, Phillipe. GRAB WHATEVER YOU CAN AND RUN!"
The duo dashed out of the tent with miscellanous goods previously belonging to another, looked left and right, and ran in the direction of the woods.
"HALT! WHO GOES THERE?" a voice demanded nearby.
"IT'S SOMEONE WEARING A TOGA!"
"DOWNRIGHT SUSPICIOUS, IF YOU ASK ME, WEARING A TOGA!"
"HEY! STOP RIGHT THERE, TOGA-MAN, WHOEVER YOU ARE!" another voice yelled.
Twang, an arrow was shot. It found its mark.
...Paul was sure it was a Poison Arrow.
"Brother, I just noticed your bum just got owned by a Poison Arrow."
"....shut up, Phillipe."
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"What kind of creeps would sneak into a lady's tent??" Selina demanded, angry tears in her eyes. "They even stole my shampoo..."
"It's all right, Selina! I'm sure those perverts will get their just deserts!" Shiki soothed.
Xyla glared at Selina with malice, and aimed a rubber chicken at her head. Three, two, one, toss... straight and true as an arrow the chicken went, towards Selina's head.....
....and a particularlysuspicious strong wind picked up, and the rubber chicken was blown into a nearby chasm. ("Hey, I never noticed that was there before!" someone observantly observed.)
Squeak.
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"Brother, I just noticed your hair turned shock pink," Phillipe commented.
"You know, somehow I'm not even surprised anymore," Paul said sadly.
The pair were soaking in a small spring they had found, eager to try out the shampoo they stole from the tent.
"When I said we'd pursue this line of work... I never thought it'd turn out this way," Paul sighed. "It's all so easy in books, isn't it? The dashing highwayman jumps out in front of a coach... the coachman reins in the horses, black as midnight.. the horses rear - the highwayman yells! 'YOUR MONEY OR YOUR LIFE!' The cowardly rich fat noble crawls out, begging for his life... 'TAKE IT ALL, TAKE IT ALL!' he'd sob. Then the highwayman takes the money and spends it all in a bar, where he gets acquainted with the local barmaid, who also happens to be a damsel in distress with enormous cleavage. Well - you know the rest. WHO KNEW - HOW WERE WE, TWO SOFT AND FOOLISH BROTHERS, TO KNOW THAT THE EARNEST COACHMAN WOULD BE SO BLIND AS TO RUN OVER US?? AND THIEVES! WHY, THIEVES IN BOOKS NEVER HAD TO EAT PEPPER, GET ATTACKED BY A FEROCIOUS CREATURE, PUT ON A TOGA OF ITCHY POWDER, OR GET SHOT BY POISONOUS ARROWS!"
"You forgot the part about your hair turning bright pink, Brother," Phillipe pointed out.
"Yes, thank you for that, Phillipe,"
There was a gloomy silence, broken only by....
"Brother, I just noticed.. the ground, our water.. it's.. rumbling.."
"....shut up, Phillipe."
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"Hey, look! There's something coming out of that chasm!" Haku, who had been acting as lookout, exclaimed. "I think... it's a demon of some sort!!"
"That's a hazard to my shmexy hair!"
"I wonder if I can rent that chasm out to someone...?"
"Ouch, I tripped on a rock! That hurt! Wait, what did that have to do with anything? Kyousei, ohohoho.."
"Xyla, what have you done?" Sora whispered, glaring at her mournfully.
Squawk.
"It's a squirrel! What happened to it?"
"It's injured! I'll heal it back to health... hey, why don't we take it with us? "
Over by the lonely campfire, Xyla snorted as she poked at her suspicious looking stew. "Pssshhhh. Doesn't that new girl piss you off? She thinks she's all that, just cause she's got all that boobs! Well, my obnoxiously freaky eyes were here before her boobs!"
Sora gave her a look. "However insignificant I think your squinty eyes are, you're right about one thing. How dare she just waltz in here and steal our spotlight! We're the pwnsome likeable heroines!"
"Down with her boobs!"
"......doesn't that make them bigger? Er, anyway! I've got a plan..."
£»£¾£»£»£¾£»£»£¾£»£»£¾£»£»£¾£»£»£¾£»£»£¾£»£»£¾£»
"Ouch! Something bit me on the ankle, brother!"
"What! Quite, will ya? I'm observing this ridiculous bunch of clowns!"
Meet Paul and Phillipe, your average model citizens. At this juncture of maturation, they are spying upon our merry group of travellers, concocting brilliant plans to relieve the group of their gold, food, and shampoo. Quality hair wash is hard to come by in the wild.
"Gah! This itches something fierce! I can't stop scratching it!"
"......doesn't that make it worst? Er, anyway! I've got a plan..."
"Brother, I just noticed we're sitting on an anthill."
"....shut up, Phillipe."
£»£¾£»£»£¾£»£»£¾£»£»£¾£»£»£¾£»£»£¾£»£»£¾£»£»£¾£»
"Look, Selina's busy with that squirrel! Hurry, do it!" Sora urged.
With haste, Xyla rushed over to Selina's untouched bowl of food. "That should do the trick!"
"Done? Right, the next step...."
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"Look!" Paul pointed as the tricky duo snuck into the campsite. "There's an unsuspicious bowl of food, left there conveniently! Imma dig in!"
"Brother, I don't think that's such a hot ide-"
Paul took a gulp of the stew, and his face promptly turned red.
"AHHHHHHHH THROAT.. BURNING..."
Phillipe grabbed a nearby bowl of water. "Here!!"
Paul gulped it down with relish. "Ah, that was among one of the most refreshing water I've ever drank.. ever... .... hey.... why's that creature growling at us?"
"Brother, I just noticed the bowl you drank from has the word Royal engraved on it."
"....shut up, Phillipe."
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"Hay... Sora, did you hear some screaming and barking just now?" Xyla asked, looking up from her task at hand.
"Dunno, I thought I heard something strange... well, we'd better get out of Selina's tent in case the others hear the racket and catch us in the act..."
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"THAT DARN ANIMAL!" Paul growled. I won't be able to sit for a month! And it's still making a commotion! Hurry, let's hide in here..."
The sly pair entered a nearby tent, where they instantly spotted a ornate giftbox on the table. Curiosity sat on and crushed common sense, and the brothers examined the box.
" 'To Selena, From Shinji' Huh. Interesting."
"It's... a toga, brother."
".........."
"Let's steal it, brother!"
"No, no, not like that! Watch and learn, lil bro, as a professional like I-self steal this ornate toga. If you steal the whole box, someone's bound to notice something was wrong instantly, see? That's why you steal the toga inside it! And just in case someone sees you carrying a toga and goes, 'Now there's someone downright suspicious', well, you wear the toga yourself! That way, if you get caught, you're just a traveler who got lost is all! ....hey, it itches something fierce.."
"Brother, I just noticed you must have put on a toga full of poison powder."
"....just... just shut up, Phillipe. GRAB WHATEVER YOU CAN AND RUN!"
The duo dashed out of the tent with miscellanous goods previously belonging to another, looked left and right, and ran in the direction of the woods.
"HALT! WHO GOES THERE?" a voice demanded nearby.
"IT'S SOMEONE WEARING A TOGA!"
"DOWNRIGHT SUSPICIOUS, IF YOU ASK ME, WEARING A TOGA!"
"HEY! STOP RIGHT THERE, TOGA-MAN, WHOEVER YOU ARE!" another voice yelled.
Twang, an arrow was shot. It found its mark.
...Paul was sure it was a Poison Arrow.
"Brother, I just noticed your bum just got owned by a Poison Arrow."
"....shut up, Phillipe."
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"What kind of creeps would sneak into a lady's tent??" Selina demanded, angry tears in her eyes. "They even stole my shampoo..."
"It's all right, Selina! I'm sure those perverts will get their just deserts!" Shiki soothed.
Xyla glared at Selina with malice, and aimed a rubber chicken at her head. Three, two, one, toss... straight and true as an arrow the chicken went, towards Selina's head.....
....and a particularly
Squeak.
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"Brother, I just noticed your hair turned shock pink," Phillipe commented.
"You know, somehow I'm not even surprised anymore," Paul said sadly.
The pair were soaking in a small spring they had found, eager to try out the shampoo they stole from the tent.
"When I said we'd pursue this line of work... I never thought it'd turn out this way," Paul sighed. "It's all so easy in books, isn't it? The dashing highwayman jumps out in front of a coach... the coachman reins in the horses, black as midnight.. the horses rear - the highwayman yells! 'YOUR MONEY OR YOUR LIFE!' The cowardly rich fat noble crawls out, begging for his life... 'TAKE IT ALL, TAKE IT ALL!' he'd sob. Then the highwayman takes the money and spends it all in a bar, where he gets acquainted with the local barmaid, who also happens to be a damsel in distress with enormous cleavage. Well - you know the rest. WHO KNEW - HOW WERE WE, TWO SOFT AND FOOLISH BROTHERS, TO KNOW THAT THE EARNEST COACHMAN WOULD BE SO BLIND AS TO RUN OVER US?? AND THIEVES! WHY, THIEVES IN BOOKS NEVER HAD TO EAT PEPPER, GET ATTACKED BY A FEROCIOUS CREATURE, PUT ON A TOGA OF ITCHY POWDER, OR GET SHOT BY POISONOUS ARROWS!"
"You forgot the part about your hair turning bright pink, Brother," Phillipe pointed out.
"Yes, thank you for that, Phillipe,"
There was a gloomy silence, broken only by....
"Brother, I just noticed.. the ground, our water.. it's.. rumbling.."
"....shut up, Phillipe."
£»£¾£»£»£¾£»£»£¾£»£»£¾£»£»£¾£»£»£¾£»£»£¾£»£»£¾£»
"Hey, look! There's something coming out of that chasm!" Haku, who had been acting as lookout, exclaimed. "I think... it's a demon of some sort!!"
"That's a hazard to my shmexy hair!"
"I wonder if I can rent that chasm out to someone...?"
"Ouch, I tripped on a rock! That hurt! Wait, what did that have to do with anything? Kyousei, ohohoho.."
"Xyla, what have you done?" Sora whispered, glaring at her mournfully.
Squawk.