Post by Sora on Sept 30, 2007 10:05:09 GMT -5
One day, Ater was sipping tea quite civilly in the Shadow Sonata café, contemplating his duel with Fate. Abruptly, Ilios burst into the café, and came dashing over.
"Guess what, Ater!"
Ater set down his cup and eyed the god. "This better be good. I was thinking about children's card games."
Ilios shook his head. "Halo 3 came out! You wanna come over and try it?"
Ater thought about it. "Sorry, can't today."
Ilios scowled. "Okay, but you're missing out. Man, they've got this thing like a Banshee, except it's as big as a tank and it's got a machine gun..."
He walked out, still ranting about video games (because evidently gods have nothing better to talk about).
In walked Thanatopsis. "Are you thinking about world domination?" he asked Ater, as per usual. The god of evil rolled his eyes.
"Yes, I definitely am, and guess what?"
Thanatopsis raised his eyebrows, motioning for him to continue. Ater leaned forward.
"You'll be the first to die," he intoned evilly. Then he leaned back to his tea. "Yay."
Thanatopsis twitched and went to the table next to him. "Can I have some waffles over here?" he called to one of the café owner, who nodded and hurried off to prepare them.
The wind chimes rang. The doors opened, and Ater groaned, immediately sensing Caelum. He slid around, preparing for the inevitable, boring confrontation that always happened between them whenever they met. Apparently it was tradition. Stupid tradition if you ask me, Ater thought.
But it didn't seen to be forthcoming today. Caelum walked through with a strange look on his face. He came directly over to Ater, eyebrows furrowed.
"Why..." he began, "do I have the urge to kiss you? Ardenttly? With a mispelling included?"
Ater took it all in stride, sipping more of his tea. "...It must because of my sweet ass. Look, I know I'm pretty, but evidently you've forgotten about your wife. Glantina won't be happy to find you lean...that way."
Maijuso came winding around the tables in the café to deliver Thanatopsis' waffles. She overheard and came over. "No, I think you must be stuck in a yaoi fangirl's story."
"But I created yaoi," Ater protested, despite his sudden wanting to stare deeply into Caelum's gorgeous blue [blue? Are they blue, Xyla?] eyes...
...Ugh. Well, this was kind of awkward.
Ater twitched and shook himself out of it. "It should have no hold on me!"
Maijuso shook her finger and was mobbed by lawninjas sent especially by Edgeworth. "Never underestimate the power of yaoi. You may have created something even more powerful than the gods."
"So how do we get out of this?" Caelum asked desperately, wrenching his eyes from Ater's. "We didn't even get to have a dramatic confrontation..."
"There are no dramatic confrontations in yaoi," Maijuso said sagely, being one who knew her way around a yaoi doujinshi. "Just a lot of kissing and passionate embraces."
Ater and Caelum shuddered.
"As for getting out of this..." Maijuso stroked her chin in thought. "I don't really know...you might as well be stuck in this forever."
"No way!" Caelum slammed his hands on the table, trying not to look at Ater. "I have better things to do! Like, be a hobo in my magical cave! How can I think enlightened thoughts if all I can think of is..." He coughed. "Er, nevermind."
"Maybe if you get away from each other?" Maijuso suggested.
As if on cue, in the back Bowiwalu switched on the radio.
A love song came on. "Near, far, wherEVER you are, I believe that my heart does go on..."
Ater and Caelum banged their heads on the table simultaneously.
"You could try kissing each other," said Maijuso. "Then maybe the story would end and you'd get out."
"Hell no!" came Ater's reply.
"Sfaira," Caelum said, "please shoot me."
Sfaira dropped from the ceiling and obligingly did so.
Death walked in, carrying a baby. "Guess what, guys! Winged Egg of Life let me deliver this one today!"
He noticed everyone in a huddle around Ater's table and sent the baby away, coming over. "What happened?"
"Ater and Caelum are gay," Thanatopsis said.
Caelum and Ater both shot the god of gold looks of venom (or, in Caelum's case, cheerfulness to the extreme, which can be deadly in its own way). Thantopsis went back to his waffles hastily.
"They're stuck in some fangirl's story," Maijuso informed Death. "Do you know any way out? I don't think the plot can proceed if our gods of evil and good are gay together."
Death considered this. "Hem...perhaps, erm...you could, um..." He scowled. "Deaf Oi, quit it!"
Deaf Oi 'herm'ed disgruntedly and shuffled out of the café.
"Well, seeing as a fangirl's story is sort of her fantasy, or dream," Death said thoughtfully, "this may be Helen's doing. Or perhaps Älska. They may even be working together. Haha, I bet you didn't see that coming!"
"..." Maijuso decided to ignore this. "Anyway, if it's Älska's and Helen's doing, then you can deal with this quite easily, can't you?"
"Love is quite powerful, though," Caelum pointed out. Ater snorted.
"That's just what a goody two shoes sap like you would say. I can deal with her quite easily. All I need are a squad of lawninjas, an extremely good assassin, and some whipped cream."
"Whipped cream?" Maijuso inquired.
"Okay, so we don't really need that." Ater set his teacup down and fixed Caelum with an intense gaze. "But I will need you help."
So, for the first and last time in history, the forces of good and evil teamed together and managed to destroy the fantasy.
But every now and then, Caelum and Ater look at each other and still get those weird feelings...
[WTF???]
"Guess what, Ater!"
Ater set down his cup and eyed the god. "This better be good. I was thinking about children's card games."
Ilios shook his head. "Halo 3 came out! You wanna come over and try it?"
Ater thought about it. "Sorry, can't today."
Ilios scowled. "Okay, but you're missing out. Man, they've got this thing like a Banshee, except it's as big as a tank and it's got a machine gun..."
He walked out, still ranting about video games (because evidently gods have nothing better to talk about).
In walked Thanatopsis. "Are you thinking about world domination?" he asked Ater, as per usual. The god of evil rolled his eyes.
"Yes, I definitely am, and guess what?"
Thanatopsis raised his eyebrows, motioning for him to continue. Ater leaned forward.
"You'll be the first to die," he intoned evilly. Then he leaned back to his tea. "Yay."
Thanatopsis twitched and went to the table next to him. "Can I have some waffles over here?" he called to one of the café owner, who nodded and hurried off to prepare them.
The wind chimes rang. The doors opened, and Ater groaned, immediately sensing Caelum. He slid around, preparing for the inevitable, boring confrontation that always happened between them whenever they met. Apparently it was tradition. Stupid tradition if you ask me, Ater thought.
But it didn't seen to be forthcoming today. Caelum walked through with a strange look on his face. He came directly over to Ater, eyebrows furrowed.
"Why..." he began, "do I have the urge to kiss you? Ardenttly? With a mispelling included?"
Ater took it all in stride, sipping more of his tea. "...It must because of my sweet ass. Look, I know I'm pretty, but evidently you've forgotten about your wife. Glantina won't be happy to find you lean...that way."
Maijuso came winding around the tables in the café to deliver Thanatopsis' waffles. She overheard and came over. "No, I think you must be stuck in a yaoi fangirl's story."
"But I created yaoi," Ater protested, despite his sudden wanting to stare deeply into Caelum's gorgeous blue [blue? Are they blue, Xyla?] eyes...
...Ugh. Well, this was kind of awkward.
Ater twitched and shook himself out of it. "It should have no hold on me!"
Maijuso shook her finger and was mobbed by lawninjas sent especially by Edgeworth. "Never underestimate the power of yaoi. You may have created something even more powerful than the gods."
"So how do we get out of this?" Caelum asked desperately, wrenching his eyes from Ater's. "We didn't even get to have a dramatic confrontation..."
"There are no dramatic confrontations in yaoi," Maijuso said sagely, being one who knew her way around a yaoi doujinshi. "Just a lot of kissing and passionate embraces."
Ater and Caelum shuddered.
"As for getting out of this..." Maijuso stroked her chin in thought. "I don't really know...you might as well be stuck in this forever."
"No way!" Caelum slammed his hands on the table, trying not to look at Ater. "I have better things to do! Like, be a hobo in my magical cave! How can I think enlightened thoughts if all I can think of is..." He coughed. "Er, nevermind."
"Maybe if you get away from each other?" Maijuso suggested.
As if on cue, in the back Bowiwalu switched on the radio.
A love song came on. "Near, far, wherEVER you are, I believe that my heart does go on..."
Ater and Caelum banged their heads on the table simultaneously.
"You could try kissing each other," said Maijuso. "Then maybe the story would end and you'd get out."
"Hell no!" came Ater's reply.
"Sfaira," Caelum said, "please shoot me."
Sfaira dropped from the ceiling and obligingly did so.
Death walked in, carrying a baby. "Guess what, guys! Winged Egg of Life let me deliver this one today!"
He noticed everyone in a huddle around Ater's table and sent the baby away, coming over. "What happened?"
"Ater and Caelum are gay," Thanatopsis said.
Caelum and Ater both shot the god of gold looks of venom (or, in Caelum's case, cheerfulness to the extreme, which can be deadly in its own way). Thantopsis went back to his waffles hastily.
"They're stuck in some fangirl's story," Maijuso informed Death. "Do you know any way out? I don't think the plot can proceed if our gods of evil and good are gay together."
Death considered this. "Hem...perhaps, erm...you could, um..." He scowled. "Deaf Oi, quit it!"
Deaf Oi 'herm'ed disgruntedly and shuffled out of the café.
"Well, seeing as a fangirl's story is sort of her fantasy, or dream," Death said thoughtfully, "this may be Helen's doing. Or perhaps Älska. They may even be working together. Haha, I bet you didn't see that coming!"
"..." Maijuso decided to ignore this. "Anyway, if it's Älska's and Helen's doing, then you can deal with this quite easily, can't you?"
"Love is quite powerful, though," Caelum pointed out. Ater snorted.
"That's just what a goody two shoes sap like you would say. I can deal with her quite easily. All I need are a squad of lawninjas, an extremely good assassin, and some whipped cream."
"Whipped cream?" Maijuso inquired.
"Okay, so we don't really need that." Ater set his teacup down and fixed Caelum with an intense gaze. "But I will need you help."
So, for the first and last time in history, the forces of good and evil teamed together and managed to destroy the fantasy.
But every now and then, Caelum and Ater look at each other and still get those weird feelings...
[WTF???]