Post by Haku on Sept 13, 2007 21:47:16 GMT -5
So,
I bet all you young un's have come to read my column, ey?
The wise elder Haku spreading his wisdoms of old, 'ey?
Well.
I DID NOT GET OFF MY BUNIONS TO HAVE YOU YOUNG PEOPLE with your baggy clothing, loud uncomprehensible music, scrotum piercings, sagging underpants, sagging pants, saggings that aren't meant to sag, lawn-trampler-3000, sony playstations, rocks, rape, abortion, lack of condoms, bling, tattoos, walking as if you had a pregnant raccoon attacking your anus, regular pudding, lack of pud-DIN', alcohol abuse, breasts the size of montana, jewelry stuck on your teeth, piercings where the sun don't shine, naked hello's, CapriSun, segways, flaming golf carts, children's card games, yaoi, furries, canon, smex, fandoms, white trash, lack of dignity, helicopters shaped like dragons, five-headed-dragons, boys dressed like girls, girl clothes made for boys, boys pretending to be girls, the lack of girls attempting to appear as boys, broken men, ancient egyptian artifacts that can crush minds, control minds, rape minds, etc. , sexy dungeon dice monsters, pocahontas, FAAAAAAAAAAAAAABULOUS, gramps that just dont die, shaking moneymakers, barney voice actors, blind sisters, annoying little brothers, spice girls, hair thats in love, braided pubes, attention duelists, screwing the rules, immense amounts of money, FANSERVICE, challenge-able breasts, super special awesome, friendship speeches, IN AMERICA, but actually french-canada, MILLENIUM GAYDAR, s-l-u-t-s that live in puzzles that are seriously millenium, smally mc small, GODDAMN SNAKES ON THIS GODDAMN PLANE, donut earrings, evil jew boys, millenium car keys, CRACK FORTUNE TELLERS (in america), c(r)ock, gay servants, lawyers with whips, pointy objections, electro-law-tazers, FINDING GAY PEOPLE, frustrated celtics who double as guardians, SUPER SPECIAL AWESOME PLOT TWISTS, extremely tight gym shorts, men named nancy, my gym teacher is named nancy, worthless fanfics, too much hairy pot's of err, pink sweaters, strong gay readings, limey man, kicking ass and then drinking cups o' tea, villains named florence, diabolical plans that occur 500 episodes later, ni ni ni, ni-ni-ni-ni-ni-ni, nininininininininininininininininininini, NI!
but that's enough of that.
in all seriousness, this is a very dedicated column to the elderly (like me) who currently reside in the ORH [oldbag retirement home].
and for those whipper snappers who are currently reading this.
GET THE FOCK OFF MY LAWN YOU LITTLE DIPSHATS.
i swear when my limited edition blue eyes white dragon walker that i ordered 500 years ago from ebuy comes, you'll be the ones with the crushed petunias!
WHY BACK IN MY DAY I----
"Old man Haku your puddin' is here~" says a voice that is all-too experienced in putting on a happy tone.
"FABULOUS. Why I just might be motivated enough to write up anothe--GAH THIS CONFOUNDED PUDDIN' HAS ROCKS IN IT."
"You requested rocks, your seniority."
"ROKS. ROKS. NOT ROCKS."
"..Rocks?"
"ROKS. I AM CLEARING NOT PRONOUNCING THE TERM WITH THE SILENT C YOU YOUNG OAF."
"Rocks."
"ROKSSS."
If anyone read all of that.
And you are totally freaked out.
You get an old, wrinkly cookie.
But if you understood that.
stay tuned for the next OLDBAG COLUMN~
(you faintly hear a Kawaita Sakebi somewhere in the background)
I bet all you young un's have come to read my column, ey?
The wise elder Haku spreading his wisdoms of old, 'ey?
Well.
I DID NOT GET OFF MY BUNIONS TO HAVE YOU YOUNG PEOPLE with your baggy clothing, loud uncomprehensible music, scrotum piercings, sagging underpants, sagging pants, saggings that aren't meant to sag, lawn-trampler-3000, sony playstations, rocks, rape, abortion, lack of condoms, bling, tattoos, walking as if you had a pregnant raccoon attacking your anus, regular pudding, lack of pud-DIN', alcohol abuse, breasts the size of montana, jewelry stuck on your teeth, piercings where the sun don't shine, naked hello's, CapriSun, segways, flaming golf carts, children's card games, yaoi, furries, canon, smex, fandoms, white trash, lack of dignity, helicopters shaped like dragons, five-headed-dragons, boys dressed like girls, girl clothes made for boys, boys pretending to be girls, the lack of girls attempting to appear as boys, broken men, ancient egyptian artifacts that can crush minds, control minds, rape minds, etc. , sexy dungeon dice monsters, pocahontas, FAAAAAAAAAAAAAABULOUS, gramps that just dont die, shaking moneymakers, barney voice actors, blind sisters, annoying little brothers, spice girls, hair thats in love, braided pubes, attention duelists, screwing the rules, immense amounts of money, FANSERVICE, challenge-able breasts, super special awesome, friendship speeches, IN AMERICA, but actually french-canada, MILLENIUM GAYDAR, s-l-u-t-s that live in puzzles that are seriously millenium, smally mc small, GODDAMN SNAKES ON THIS GODDAMN PLANE, donut earrings, evil jew boys, millenium car keys, CRACK FORTUNE TELLERS (in america), c(r)ock, gay servants, lawyers with whips, pointy objections, electro-law-tazers, FINDING GAY PEOPLE, frustrated celtics who double as guardians, SUPER SPECIAL AWESOME PLOT TWISTS, extremely tight gym shorts, men named nancy, my gym teacher is named nancy, worthless fanfics, too much hairy pot's of err, pink sweaters, strong gay readings, limey man, kicking ass and then drinking cups o' tea, villains named florence, diabolical plans that occur 500 episodes later, ni ni ni, ni-ni-ni-ni-ni-ni, nininininininininininininininininininini, NI!
but that's enough of that.
in all seriousness, this is a very dedicated column to the elderly (like me) who currently reside in the ORH [oldbag retirement home].
and for those whipper snappers who are currently reading this.
GET THE FOCK OFF MY LAWN YOU LITTLE DIPSHATS.
i swear when my limited edition blue eyes white dragon walker that i ordered 500 years ago from ebuy comes, you'll be the ones with the crushed petunias!
WHY BACK IN MY DAY I----
"Old man Haku your puddin' is here~" says a voice that is all-too experienced in putting on a happy tone.
"FABULOUS. Why I just might be motivated enough to write up anothe--GAH THIS CONFOUNDED PUDDIN' HAS ROCKS IN IT."
"You requested rocks, your seniority."
"ROKS. ROKS. NOT ROCKS."
"..Rocks?"
"ROKS. I AM CLEARING NOT PRONOUNCING THE TERM WITH THE SILENT C YOU YOUNG OAF."
"Rocks."
"ROKSSS."
If anyone read all of that.
And you are totally freaked out.
You get an old, wrinkly cookie.
But if you understood that.
stay tuned for the next OLDBAG COLUMN~
(you faintly hear a Kawaita Sakebi somewhere in the background)